Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
