that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
