And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
