Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
