im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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