i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
wow bdsm is so cute
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
