Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
