yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
