Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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