never play flip cup with pint glasses
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
