A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
