an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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