I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
