I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
