i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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