Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
