Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
