Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize