I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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