He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
