i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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