Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
