4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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