Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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