You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just google imaged poop.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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