Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
