bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
