Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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