u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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