my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
As shirtless as possible
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
