He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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