dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
