i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
