Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
