Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
