just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize