all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
