About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize