were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
