I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
