It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
