forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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