Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
