You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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