Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
