the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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