yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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