Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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