Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
