i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
