The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
