I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
