This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
