I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
