there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I touched a dick in church today
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
