Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
