Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
