Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
