She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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