Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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