I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize