Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he had hair everywhere except his balls
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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