Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
